bingedrunk:

when you’ve been with the same guy for 4 years

image

mosquitotits:

5.00 dollard

mosquitotits:

5.00 dollard

horror movie opening scene

  • white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  • white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  • white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
  • white boy: lmao
  • they continue walking for a few seconds
  • *white couple hears noise*
  • white girl: babe what that??
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *leaves her alone*
  • *choking noises*
  • white girl: zack!!!
  • white boy: ha ha just kidding!
  • white girl: asshole!
  • white boy: im just playin babe
  • white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  • *playful kiss*
  • *things turn sexy*
  • *hear noise*
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  • *maybe a thud*
  • white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  • *she walks and he dead*
  • white girl: ahhh!!
  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  • white girl: ahhh!!!
  • *white girl runs*
  • *dead end*
  • *hides*
  • *thinks she free n safe*
  • *guy catches her*
  • *cuts her*
  • *she dead*
  • opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D
  • cogging:

    my friend told me how electricity is measured and i was like watt

    dulect:

    when the teacher picks you out for doing the best work in class

    image

    cokeflow:

i hope my parents are proud of me

    cokeflow:

    i hope my parents are proud of me

    nasturbate:

    prosetitute:

    I’M DYING

    STOP HARASSING YOUR PARENTS but also keep doing it because i just laughed so hard my soul escaped my body

    beautyyytime:

    Why one eyebrow always comin out Gucci and the other eyebrow comin out Walmart

    bruhcardi:

    when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn